My Advice to a Friend’s Frustrations While Trying to Lose Weight (And Why it Worked)

Recently, a friend reached out about his frustrations with trying to lose weight. Here is my advice. It might help you overcome the weight loss wall you’ve hit too.

My Advice to a Friend


Hey! Thanks for the specific notes and questions! It says a lot about your dedication to this process.

Losing weight is a complicated goal. It is a constant battle with your needs and wants. No matter hard you try...you will compare everything to your long-term eating habits and what you want. This makes change very challenging. You've already established a foundation on autopilot that is comfortable and free of deciding or testing (even though it hasn't helped you reach your goal). It's no wonder you may be more likely to talk yourself out of the new food than figure out a way to integrate it into your diet. Unfortunately, you may end up spending a lifetime of dietary cycles and weight fluctuations to protect what you love the most (of which I understand firsthand).

If you follow the guidelines in the article How to Lose Weight Without Exercise, though, you will....absolutely....without a doubt....achieve your weight loss goal number. Surprisingly, it can be achieved without killing yourself in the gym. Other people would rather never attempt this approach for reasons that make sense: It is a drastic contrast from their norms (as mentioned above). They basically have to revise their social lifestyle (to a degree not as great as most people think) and their decision-making process, as well as conduct necessary check-ins on their health, etc. It's a lot of work (in the beginning). Once you set your new normal on autopilot, though, it's no longer work-it's automatic (similar to your food interests now). Essentially, you're building a new physical and emotional relationship with your food.

Your questions are fair, and you deserve an extensive, comprehensive answer. At this point, I've reframed the answers in many different ways. Nothing will explain them more thoroughly than Dr. Fuhrman's book End of Dieting. I highly recommend reading the first 180 pages of this book this weekend. If you need a copy, I have an extra one for you!

Never forget that usually, the one thing you're avoiding to do is probably the one you need to do the most. You can exercise 2 hours per day 7 days per week, but it will still be avoiding the dietary change you probably need to make. Eventually, you should figure out what you can get away with (drinking beer, restaurant dinners, etc.). Right now, though, you should figure out how you should really eat. And if you read the book and begin disqualifying the claims, you should consider where those opinions stem from. Are they threatening your current habits? Would you rather believe a theory closer to your wants?

This isn't an easy road, and I have the most respect for you hitting it dead on! Let's reach that number! Let's make this happen!

Personal Trainer Wisdom: When Tom (name changed) originally emailed me about his recent frustrations with the weight loss process, his pain, anguish, and frustration bled through each of his written words. He battled 2 cycles of losing 9 lbs and gaining it back in the months that followed. At the time of the email, Tom reached his highest weight once again. You can imagine the emotional ups and downs for him during that time. While it appears on the surface that Tom failed over the last year, it did indeed reveal a mindset and set of habits that have led to these patterns….valuable information for a long-term change. It also showed that he is persistent and possesses the ability to set boundaries…even though these boundaries aren't ideal right now for his health.

I wish I could say that weight loss is as easy as commonly advertised. No matter what any personal trainer, advertisement, or “weight loss professional” tells you, it REQUIRES a mental, emotional, and physical approach. While it may seem like a daunting task, it could be the push to truly learn about yourself. It’s time to think about the advice above. Update: Tom has lost 12.5 lbs with consistency, patience, and persistence since my email response.

Photo Credit:
Health US News .com–What will really cause a change on your scale?

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Author: Michael Moody Fitness
My Advice to a Friend’s Frustrations While Trying to Lose Weight (And Why it Worked)
Learn how to lose weight from a personal trainer in Chicago.