3 Tools to Dramatically Improve Your Romantic Relationship
Optimal health extends beyond your time in a personal trainer’s studio. If you spend extra effort on your relationships, you might be surprised how your overall well-being is improved. Whether your romantic relationship is sound or a struggle, here are three tools to dramatically change that dynamic today.
THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGES PERSONAL PROFILE FOR COUPLES
Personal Trainer Wisdom: Although you can ambitiously read a book of the same name, I highly recommend taking this free quiz online at 5lovelanguages.com. It will help you identify the love languages (words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch) that you value the most. Why is this important? If your partner values “acts of service” the most (like making dinner together), it may not matter how many bunches of flowers you buy him or her. Although you value “receiving gifts” the most, it doesn’t mean your partner will too. How often have you heard someone say (or said yourself), “It doesn’t matter what I do. He never appreciates it.” I ask you: Do you know what he appreciates or values the most? Perhaps all your partner wants is “physical touch”…a hug to show your continued interest in him. You can see how easily this lack of communication or awareness can compound into many nonsense arguments.
I recommend that you and your partner individually take this quiz and then discuss your scores. Although you’re not instructed to break down each of your answers, I highly suggest you do this. The two of you may share the same answer but may have a completely different mindset approaching the scenario. Essentially, take the guesswork out of the relationship and learn how your partner approaches a scenario and what he or she values the most.
MY LIFE STORY: A VISUAL MAP
Personal Trainer Wisdom: The ‘My Life Story Map’ left a lasting impression on my wife and me before our wedding last year. It helped us recognize the defining moments in our past and understand how they have shaped us. Although we utilized the ‘A Visual Map for Reflecting on My Past’ diagram by Sibyl Towner and Sharon Swing, you can create your own. You and your partner will draw and write a life timeline on separate pieces of paper. At the top and middle of your page, draw a horizontal (parallel) line. On the top line, write the years of your life that correlate with the critical events you describe on the middle line. The middle line should reflect events, people, places, vocations, avocations, and more. You can record these events above or below this middle line depending on whether the event is perceived as a positive event (above) or an adverse event (below). As you determine the most noteworthy events, ask yourself: Which events elicit the most significant emotional response? Which events were most responsible for your personal and professional approach today? Which events specifically affected your relationships with others today? When did you feel the most insecure and weak or secure and robust? What were the most significant turning points or decisions that affected your life?
You may undoubtedly personalize this timeline however you see fit. Honesty is most important (with yourself and your partner). Evaluate how these life occurrences affected you and write that down. For example, my parent’s divorce had a profound effect on my life. Unfortunately, it shaped a negative perspective on relationships for a long time (conflict management, displays of affection, etc). At the same time, while moving after my parent’s divorce was a great challenge at the age of 12, I became more adaptable to many different environments. I became more curious. Think about these long-term effects on my life! I now love travel and feel comfortable exploring and interacting with the unknown world. What events in your life have shaped you? Not only is this a great way to see a timeline of your life on paper, but it is also an opportunity to see what has influenced how you behave, perceive, or generally approach the world. Take this time to learn about yourself while helping your partner understand you.
A HUG
Personal Trainer Wisdom: The root of all life is interaction…and nothing is easier or cheaper than a hug! Even if you don’t have the right words, a simple hug could express how you feel. It also shows your vulnerability to your partner and physically connecting to him or her.
Photo Credit:
The wonderful and talented Elizabeth Nord (Photography)–My wife, Sammy, and I still remind ourselves of our promises on our wedding day (and you should always, too). A solid foundation always requires honesty, communication, and self-awareness.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: MICHAEL MOODY, PERSONAL TRAINER
As an author, a personal trainer in Denver, and podcast host, Michael Moody has helped personal training clients achieve new fitness heights and incredible weight loss transformations since 2005. He also produces the wellness podcast "The Elements of Being" and has been featured on NBC, WGN Radio, and PBS.
Michael offers personal training to Denver residents who want to meet at the 2460 W 26th Ave studio….or in their homes throughout LoHi (80206), LoDo (80202), RiNo (80216), Washington Park (80209), Cherry Creek (80206, 80209, 80243, 80246, 80231), and Highlands (80202, 80211, 80212). Michael also offers experiences with a personal trainer in Jefferson Park (80211) and Sloan's Lake (80204, 80212).
If you’re looking for a personal trainer who can curate a sustainable (and adaptable) routine based on your needs and wants, Michael is the experienced practitioner you’ve been looking for. Try personal training for a month…your body will thank you!
EPISODE #10 - EAT FOR LIFE, WEIGHT LOSS, AND AN OPTIMAL IMMUNE SYSTEM WITH BEST SELLING AUTHOR DR. FUHRMAN
On “The Elements of Being” podcast, Michael dissects and explores the minds and habits of psychologists, filmmakers, writers, and industry icons. Essentially, you learn what makes them flip the switch to achieve incredible feats, goals, and milestones…and a chance to geek out over the psychology behind human behavior. In this episode, Michael interviews Dr. Joel Fuhrman, an internationally recognized nutrition and natural healing expert and author of seven New York Times bestsellers, including his most recent book, Eat for Life. His other bestsellers include Eat to Live and The End of Dieting (which I give to all my clients).
Read more and listen here…..You can also listen to all episodes on Apple, Spotify, Overcast, Castbox, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast platform!
